just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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