There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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