so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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