Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You need Xanax blowdarts
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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