I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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