I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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