In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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