Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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