8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
