I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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