Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
