She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka?
Forever.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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