My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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