If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
