chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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