We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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