new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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