I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize