Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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