My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
