So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
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I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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