She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We had to coat check the pizza.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
