question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
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It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
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he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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