Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.