Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
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He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy