Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.

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  (607): You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar? (405): No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before. http://tfl.nu/y495
  Replies (6) Good night (676) Bad night (1553)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work

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  (443): no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work http://tfl.nu/0acv
  Replies (9) Good night (553) Bad night (3702)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.

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  (972): I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it. http://tfl.nu/h8bb
  Replies (7) Good night (739) Bad night (3117)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.

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  (954): I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals. http://tfl.nu/1tkg
  Replies (16) Good night (1097) Bad night (4632)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.

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  (805): I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now. http://tfl.nu/p09l
  Replies (6) Good night (4321) Bad night (1350)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself

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  (818): Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself http://tfl.nu/kb63
  Replies (8) Good night (2690) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.

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  (316): Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night. http://tfl.nu/xbe7
  Replies (7) Good night (2826) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.

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  (315): some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad. http://tfl.nu/fabc
  Replies (7) Good night (1454) Bad night (2295)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA

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  (253): drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA http://tfl.nu/xnrm
  Replies (6) Good night (856) Bad night (2045)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.

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  (407): Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30. http://tfl.nu/fgkn
  Replies (13) Good night (756) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.

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  (724): You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking. http://tfl.nu/bbzn
  Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night

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  (812): Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night http://tfl.nu/74fx
  Replies (5) Good night (981) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"

  (1-858): View more from California

  next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.

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  (858): Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him" (1-858): next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective. http://tfl.nu/n75w
  Replies (2) Good night (989) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms

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  (541): stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms http://tfl.nu/9llu
  Replies (4) Good night (371) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.

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  (505): I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked. http://tfl.nu/byyl
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (252)

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