How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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