Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore

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  (248): Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore http://tfl.nu/16rg
  Replies (38) Good night (1584) Bad night (2379)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.

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  (248): They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking. http://tfl.nu/97aw
  Replies (9) Good night (633) Bad night (2357)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  People with herpes should wear stickers.

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  (281): People with herpes should wear stickers. http://tfl.nu/8ji1
  Replies (50) Good night (995) Bad night (3638)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.

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  (810): That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head. (810): I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again. http://tfl.nu/3d2e
  Replies (17) Good night (3146) Bad night (869)
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  (631): View more from New York

  im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies

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  (631): im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies http://tfl.nu/qgfc
  Replies (64) Good night (19701) Bad night (1481)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.

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  (651): I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol. http://tfl.nu/cmai
  Replies (21) Good night (3687) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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  (508): Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila http://tfl.nu/42fz
  Replies (24) Good night (1454) Bad night (3896)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.

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  (864): We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian. http://tfl.nu/x5ta
  Replies (18) Good night (7216) Bad night (2256)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses

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  (312): the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses http://tfl.nu/vxdn
  Replies (4) Good night (5131) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....

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  (813): Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night.... http://tfl.nu/k2vf
  Replies (3) Good night (2445) Bad night (1168)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.

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  (770): Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers. http://tfl.nu/qvqu
  Replies (10) Good night (2820) Bad night (922)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.

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  (706): Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat. http://tfl.nu/kq42
  Replies (4) Good night (2407) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.

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  (803): I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it. http://tfl.nu/1xwb
  Replies (12) Good night (4424) Bad night (788)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.

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  (+44): the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner. http://tfl.nu/ddr6
  Replies (6) Good night (1805) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.

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  (760): I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/o963
  Replies (7) Good night (942) Bad night (341)

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