I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.