She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize