there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
