"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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