9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
