Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
