I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
