that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
