Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
