The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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