STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
