This is not my ceiling
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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