I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
