if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
