Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
