I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
