I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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