I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
