So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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