is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
