3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
