Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
