This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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