my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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