Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize