He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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