Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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