Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
