chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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