You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
