we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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