how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
