went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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