dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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