i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
